I want too much

Here I am
Split between two
Faking it
Trying to make it
Losing on both sides
To chicken shit to change

I have a kid
He is great
Making a single mom isn’t right
Killing emotions
Killing hope
To maintain is a 20 year sentence

Real laughter
These are the realities of a change

I am selfish
I lie
I scheme
I hide
I try
No one fully expect a lot from me

Is the grass greener on the other side?
Is splitting up now, later or at all worth it?
Is just being happy with status quo enough?
Is creating pain worth it?
I want too much